Beginning Anew…

by lilysauvage

Today commemorates a day of mixed emotions for some of my ancestors’ Cherokee tribe, as well as for other Native American tribes and lineage. This year, I’d like to honour what was originally known as Green Corn Ceremony amongst the Cherokee people, a type of thanksgiving ceremony that started as early as 1,000 B.C. The key things that stand out to me about this ceremony and festival are: leaving grudges behind & and beginning anew. It is in that Spirit that I share this blog post with you today.

The timing of my most recent tattoo is perfection.

HebrewTat

It says, in Hebrew, “I’ll stand by you,” which, if you read the last blog, you’ll know to be the title of a Pretender’s song, sung exquisitely by Chrissie Hynde and my new lullaby to someone very special to me…It’s done in the colour of the PTSD Awareness ribbon, placed on my right arm (right side of body symbolises protector, amongst other things) just by the wrist of the same hand I frequently use to place on my Heart as I say soothing, compassionate things to Self now – whenever I need protection. I got this tattoo yesterday, just in time to commemorate this day of  starting anew, at Native Soul Tattoo (how perfect is that for its name, eh) in the mecca of artists district in Chicago, otherwise known as Pilsen, my very own neighbourhood. Yes, I’m proud. 😉

I’ve gleaned further empowerment from this experience by having paid for it with this:

NeedlessMarkupCheque

I used to work at “Needless Markup” (otherwise known as Neiman Marcus) back when I last returned to the States in 2009. I was at an extreme low in my life, having just undergone a very invasive hysterectomy, and suffering its effects both hormonally and physically, not to mention all the lows that had come with some other choices I’d made around that time. (See Day 29 for more reference.) When my precious Soul-Mate and cat, Ierne, passed away, she left with me the strength to leave that place of abuse, the place that brought me to tears on a daily basis, and she empowered me to believe I could do better. Needless to say, I never stood by myself at that workplace. But I sure did on the 17th, didn’t I! I stood by myself and protected myself against one of the most violent of abusers I’d ever come across in a workplace, and ever since then, I’ve been a changed person – I’ve begun anew!   And the above cut of my portion of a class-action lawsuit against this corporate monstrosity (in which I was all too happy to participate) arrived only this week, within a couple days of my new tattoo’s inception. I immediately knew how it was to be spent. Ah, sweet justice. Take that, Needless Markup assholes! (Ok, not quite in the Green Corn Ceremony spirit, I know, but I just had to!)

The day after that horrible incident at rehearsal on the 17th, I felt so proud that I knew I needed to reward myself for this latest achievement with something that resembled or stood for the Phoenix rising that I’m becoming again. So I did a search and bought this, which was created by an artist I found on Etsy.com who goes by the name DramaGirl, as if that isn’t more perfect!

PhoenixJacket

She painted that Phoenix rising from the ashes on the back of a darling jean jacket I wear with pride today! And when did this item arrive in my box? Why, yesterday, of course, when I returned from Native Soul Tattoo! Beautiful synchronicity. (I believe I’ve been further rewarded by being cast in a new and far better production by a company called “Benevolent Theatre” opening in February, in which I play the only female lead! The fact that it has the word “benevolent” in its name is so telling if one is to consider the last company I experienced.)

Today, I begin anew. Today, I am that Phoenix, rising from the ashes, wings spread, poised to fly, and ready to envelop myself with the love and protection that I need. And thanks to an amazing session with my therapist yesterday before getting my tattoo, I am also very near ready to let go of the huge grudge I’ve been holding against the monster I created who protected me when I couldn’t. (Stay tuned for that one…)

Thank you for reading! And may today bring you all the peace you so deserve as you learn to trust your Self for the compassion and protection you equally deserve!